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Tattoos did not hurt as much as Janice thought. Like everything else, she got through it. She gritted her teeth, held her breath and then it was over.
“That’s it?”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
“I guess the pain is not as hyped up as it’s suppose to be”
“It depends on the person. You’ve got a higher than normal threshold. Take a look.”
The tattoo artist wiped the left over ink off and handed her a mirror. Stray stars ran along the back of her neck, behind and below her ear line. There were three of them: the largest one at the top followed by two smaller ones that descended in size. They were all solid and plain, without any embellishment. Just normal five pointed stars.
“They turned out great,” Janice said while looking at her reflection of her neck.
The tattoo artist was a burly man. He wore a black Ben Davis shirt and a San Francisco Giants cap that was cocked to the side. Plump orange kois wrapped around his forearm. “I think I’ll get a pair of those someday. Did you get that done here too?”
“Yeah. I did them myself. Let me know.” He smiled.
“You did a great job.”
She turned to her side to see if she could see could see them herself without the aid of a mirror: she could only see the corner of the smallest one.
Mary was watching from the lobby. She hugged Janice when it was over. “How was it? Did it hurt?” Mary said.
“Not really.”
“You’re a savage.”
She moved Janice’s hair away from her neck and traced the red swollen outlines.
Whenever Mary saw tattoos, she felt the need to touch them. Their father had their names on each side of his barrelled chest. Janice and Mary in fancy cursive. She remembered pulling on the hairs that grew over them and peeked out from underneath the collars of his mechanic shirts whenever he held them. Janice on one arm. Herself on the other.
“Wow,” Mary said.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I couldn’t believe you’d actually do it.”
“Why not.”
She paid for her new keepsakes. “Let me know if you ever want anything else done,” he said, “You’ve got beautiful skin.” He slid her his card.
“Thanks.”
He ran the credit card through the machine and handed Janice the receipt to sign.
They parked across the street. That morning, Janice had called and asked if she could stay for a few weeks at her an Greg’s place. When she got there, Janice was already standing on the sidewalk along with her cardboard boxes and clothes. Most of them were still on their hangers.
“Why?” Mary tried to talk her against it when Janice said she had something she needed to do on the way.
“I just want to,” Janice said.
“Come on. It’s going to be on there for life. If this is all because you’re pissed at Danny ”
“I wouldn’t do something stupid like that. This is all me.”
“Just don’t get pissed off at me afterward for not talking you out of it then.”
“I won’t.”
They split a foot-long at Subway for lunch on the way back from the tattoo parlor. Mary had a diet Pepsi. Janice had coffee. Neither of them were in the mood to eat.
It was past noon and the sunlight was filtering through the window blinds. Janice could see the dust trail off them. “We should have just gone back to your place,” Janice said.
Mary did not live far. Just down a few blocks. She’d rather be there, on the backyard patio drinking beers and smoking cigarettes then sitting in a dim Subway. It felt dirty like Danny’s place. With the idea that she was going to be out again, she realized how much she didn’t like being there. Last night, he asked her if they could split the rent even though he still owed her for many things. All the girls who came over.
“How are you and Greg?” Janice asked.
“Same as usual. He’s been studying for his PE. We won’t know until next month. If ihe passes, he’ll get a raise,” Mary said.
“PE?”
“Some engineering exam. I wouldn’t know. He’s the one to ask.”
“The raise would be nice.”
It would, wouldn’t it, now that you’ve got another unwanted burden. But Janice didn’t say this. She nodded instead. Talk like this only made Mary angry whether it was true or not.
“I don’t mean anything by that,” Mary said.
“Don’t hold yourself back. I know I’m a burden.” There it was.
Mary didn’t answer.
“I love the new ink,” Janice said. She massaged where they were on her neck.
“What are you going to tell mom?”
“Nothing. I don’t plan on seeing her for a while either.”
For the second time, Mary kept her mouth shut. This was Janice’s day, she could be as much of a bitch as she wanted and no one would say anything.
The three of them sat on the patio sipping beers. Janice, Mary and Greg.
Greg had gone out earlier in the morning to give the Buick a tune-up. He loved the car. It was a Grand National. According to Mary, he spent more time with it than her. Now he was back in a clean pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Janice thought he looked handsome for someone who was nearing 40. Mary was half his age. Sometimes, whenever she came over to visit, she would feel jealous of Mary. Not only because of Greg though.
“You’re looking good these days,” Janice said to him.
“Please. You haven’t seen him during the weekdays,” Mary said.
“I look like shit,” Greg said. He was talking about his office clothes.
“Did you see Janice’s tattoo?”
Janice’s stars were on her right side. Greg sat on her left. She turned towards him and lifted her hair.
“Stars huh? What’s the story?”
“There isn’t one. I was thinking of a barista I use to know when I was still going to community and I realized I wanted the same.”
“Just like that huh?”
“I asked her the same thing this morning. She wouldn’t listen,” Mary said.
“Yeah, just like that. You know me Mary.”
“Too long unfortunately.”
“They look nice. Did they hurt?” Greg said.
“Not really.”
“Doesn’t it hurt if it’s right on the bone?”
“I wouldn’t know. This is my first one.”
“I heard that on the bone hurts the most,” Greg said.
“I guess a little pain is good once in a while.”
Greg and Mary exchanged looks. Janice ignored them and stared at the new koi pond that was just installed in a corner of the backyard.
“They’re nice,” Greg said.
“Can I get one?” Mary said.
“If that’s what you really want. But I don’t think you would.”
Janice looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She angled the mirror on the medicine cabinet out so that she could see them. Underneath the red swelling, the ink was lighter than how it looked in the tattoo parlor yesterday morning. She wanted them to be darker but knew that she would have to wait until after they had set in. About a week was what she was told.
She was also told they would scab over, but that was normal and fine. “If it still hurts and you feel sick, it means you probably got an infection. You’ll need to see the doctor for that. It’s rare but it happens,” he said as he handed her the waiver.
She showered with the water touching her body only underneath her shoulder-line and closed her eyes. Her chest pounded and she felt light-headed. She had drinking coffee non stop th entire morning.
“Are you alright in there?” Mary knocked on the bathroom door. “You’ve been in there for half an hour already.”
“I’m alright. What time is it?”
“It’s 2:30.”
“Shit. I got to get to work.”
Janice worked at small cafe downtown. She worked three days a week. Friday, Saturday and Sundays. She picked the used tester up from the sink and dropped it back into the box. This was the second one. For confirmation. She’d look at it later. After work.
“Woah. Check out new makeover,” one of the regulars said, “I like it.”
“Thanks, I got it done yesterday,” Janice said.
“Where’d you get it done?”
“That place down on Broadway. Next to the freeway.”
“Oh, I know where that it is. I had a friend who use to work there.”
“What was his name? Maybe I saw him yesterday.”
“Doug. He hasn’t worked there for a few years though. He moved to Concord.”
“I see.” Janice knew the regulars were always full of shit. They’d say anything for an extra few seconds of conversation. Most of them were middle aged men who ogled at her behind the counter whenever she worked the espresso machine.
“What can I get you today?”
“I’ll get a coffee and a pastry.”
“Alright. I’ll have that right out John.”
“It’s Mike.”
“Sorry about that. There’s just been a lot of Johns lately.”
Other regulars commented on her tattoo in the same banal way.
During break, she reached into her purse for a cigarette and felt the box of the tester. After work, after work.
The first pregnancy was at nineteen. First year in college and the first time she was with Danny. It was at some party and they were drunk. “I’ll put out baby,” Danny said.
This was the cause of their first prolonged break up. She knew but waited until finals were over.
At the clinic, the doctor spoke with a soft lilt in his voice that made her want to sleep. She was coming down from all nighter and Red Bull.
“Now are you certain you want to go through with this?” he said after he explained the procedure.
“Why not.” Janice said.
There was a brief pain. Then numbness. She remembered that the vacuum tube felt cold when the doctor put it inside her. A pulling, and then it was over. It took less than ten minutes. “That’s it?”
“Yeah. We’re all done here.”
The doctor wiped her off and left the room. She put her clothes on and waited in the parking lot for Mary’s to pick her up after her class ended.
“You alright?” Mary said in the car.
“Yeah.”
“You look sick.”
“I’m alright. I just need some sleep.”
Mary didn’t ask her anything; Janice would always remember that. She spent the night at Mary’s dorm and the morning after, she swiped her in at the cafeteria for breakfast.
“What’s up with Janice?” Greg said.
“Tom.”
“Tom?”
“Time of month.”
“I see. I’ll save her a plate then.”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t think she’ll eat tonight.”
Mary knocked on the door to the spare room with her foot. She held two beers in her hands. “It’s me. I’m coming in.”
The room smelled like Janice’s menthols. Mary set a bottle down on the windowsill where Janice was sitting.
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing I guess.”
The wind blew the curtains away from both of their shoulders.
“Can I say something sis?”
“Sure.”
“You can't stay frozen forever.”
Sony RX1, A User Report
Image by kern.justin
Sony RX1 User Report.
I hesitate to write about gear. Tools are tools and the bitter truth is that a great craftsman rises above his tools to create a masterpiece whereas most of us try to improve our abominations by buying better or faster hammers to hit the same nails at the same awkward angles.
The internet is fairly flooded with reviews of this tiny marvel, and it isn’t my intention to compete with those articles. If you’re looking for a full-scale review of every feature or a down-to-Earth accounting of the RX1’s strengths and weaknesses, I recommend starting here.
Instead, I’d like to provide you with a flavor of how I’ve used the camera over the last six months. In short, this is a user report. To save yourself a few thousand words: I love the thing. As we go through this article, you’ll see this is a purpose built camera. The RX1 is not for everyone, but we will get to that and on the way, I’ll share a handful of images that I made with the camera.
It should be obvious to anyone reading this that I write this independently and have absolutely no relationship with Sony (other than having exchanged a large pile of cash for this camera at a retail outlet).
Before we get to anything else, I want to clear the air about two things: Price and Features
The Price
First things first: the price. The 00+ cost of this camera is the elephant in the room and, given I purchased the thing, you may consider me a poor critic. That in mind, I want to offer you three thoughts:
Consumer goods cost what they cost, in the absence of a competitor (the Fuji X100s being the only one worth mention) there is no comparison and you simply have to decide for yourself if you are willing to pay or not.
Normalize the price per sensor area for all 35mm f/2 lens and camera alternatives and you’ll find the RX1 is an amazing value.
You are paying for the ability to take photographs, plain and simple. Ask yourself, “what are these photographs worth to me?”
In my case, #3 is very important. I have used the RX1 to take hundreds of photographs of my family that are immensely important to me. Moreover, I have made photographs (many appearing on this page) that are moving or beautiful and only happened because I had the RX1 in my bag or my pocket. Yes, of course I could have made these or very similar photographs with another camera, but that is immaterial.
35mm by 24mm by 35mm f/2
The killer feature of this camera is simple: it is a wafer of silicon 35mm by 24mm paired to a brilliantly, ridiculously, undeniably sharp, contrasty and bokehlicious 35mm f/2 Carl Zeiss lens. Image quality is king here and all other things take a back seat. This means the following: image quality is as good or better than your DSLR, but battery life, focus speed, and responsiveness are likely not as good as your DSLR. I say likely because, if you have an entry-level DSLR, the RX1 is comparable on these dimensions. If you want to change lenses, if you want an integrated viewfinder, if you want blindingly fast phase-detect autofocus then shoot with a DSLR. If you want the absolute best image quality in the smallest size possible, you’ve got it in the RX1.
While we are on the subject of interchangeable lenses and viewfinders...
I have an interchangeable lens DSLR and I love the thing. It’s basically a medium format camera in a 35mm camera body. It’s a powerhouse and it is the first camera I reach for when the goal is photography. For a long time, however, I’ve found myself in situations where photography was not the first goal, but where I nevertheless wanted to have a camera. I’m around the table with friends or at the park with my son and the DSLR is too big, too bulky, too intimidating. It comes between you and life. In this realm, mirrorless, interchangeable lens cameras seem to be king, but they have a major flaw: they are, for all intents and purposes, just little DSLRs.
As I mentioned above, I have an interchangeable lens system, why would I want another, smaller one? Clearly, I am not alone in feeling this way, as the market has produced a number of what I would call “professional point and shoots.” Here we are talking about the Fuji X100/X100s, Sigma DPm-series and the RX100 and RX1.
Design is about making choices
When the Fuji X100 came out, I was intrigued. Here was a cheap(er), baby Leica M. Quiet, small, unobtrusive. Had I waited to buy until the X100s had come out, perhaps this would be a different report. Perhaps, but probably not. I remember thinking to myself as I was looking at the X100, “I wish there was a digital Rollei 35, something with a fixed 28mm or 35mm lens that would fit in a coat pocket or a small bag.” Now of course, there is.
So, for those of you who said, “I would buy the RX1 if it had interchangeable lenses or an integrated viewfinder or faster autofocus,” I say the following: This is a purpose built camera. You would not want it as an interchangeable system, it can’t compete with DSLR speed. A viewfinder would make the thing bigger and ruin the magic ratio of body to sensor size—further, there is a 3-inch LCD viewfinder on the back! Autofocus is super fast, you just don’t realize it because the bar has been raised impossibly high by ultra-sonic magnet focusing rings on professional DSLR lenses. There’s a fantastic balance at work here between image quality and size—great tools are about the total experience, not about one or the other specification.
In short, design is about making choices. I think Sony has made some good ones with the RX1.
In use
So I’ve just written 1,000 words of a user report without, you know, reporting on use. In many ways the images on the page are my user report. These photographs, more than my words, should give you a flavor of what the RX1 is about. But, for the sake of variety, I intend to tell you a bit about the how and the why of shooting with the RX1.
Snapshots
As a beginning enthusiast, I often sneered at the idea of a snapshot. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to appreciate what a pocket camera and a snapshot can offer. The RX1 is the ultimate photographer’s snapshot camera.
I’ll pause here to properly define snapshot as a photograph taken quickly with a handheld camera.
To quote Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” So it is with photography. Beautiful photographs happen at the decisive moment—and to paraphrase Henri Cartier-Bresson further—the world is newly made and falling to pieces every instant. I think it is no coincidence that each revolution in the steady march of photography from the tortuously slow chemistry of tin-type and daguerreotype through 120 and 35mm formats to the hyper-sensitive CMOS of today has engendered new categories and concepts of photography.
Photography is a reflexive, reactionary activity. I see beautiful light or the unusual in an every day event and my reaction is a desire to make a photograph. It’s a bit like breathing and has been since I was a kid.
Rather than sneer at snapshots, nowadays I seek them out; and when I seek them out, I do so with the Sony RX1 in my hand.
How I shoot with the RX1
Despite much bluster from commenters on other reviews as to the price point and the purpose-built nature of this camera (see above), the RX1 is incredibly flexible. Have a peek at some of the linked reviews and you’ll see handheld portraits, long exposures, images taken with off-camera flash, etc.
Yet, I mentioned earlier that I reach for the D800 when photography is the primary goal and so the RX1 has become for me a handheld camera—something I use almost exclusively at f/2 (people, objects, shallow DoF) or f/8 (landscapes in abundant light, abstracts). The Auto-ISO setting allows the camera to choose in the range from ISO 50 and 6400 to reach a proper exposure at a given aperture with a 1/80 s shutter speed. I have found this shutter speed ensures a sharp image every time (although photographers with more jittery grips may wish there was the ability to select a different default shutter speed). This strategy works because the RX1 has a delightfully clicky exposure compensation dial just under your right thumb—allowing for fine adjustment to the camera’s metering decision.
So then, if you find me out with the RX1, you’re likely to see me on aperture priority, f/2 and auto ISO. Indeed, many of the photographs on this page were taken in that mode (including lots of the landscape shots!).
Working within constraints.
The RX1 is a wonderful camera to have when you have to work within constraints. When I say this, I mean it is great for photography within two different classes of constraints: 1) physical constraints of time and space and 2) intellectual/artistic constraints.
To speak to the first, as I said earlier, many of the photographs on this page were made possible by having a camera with me at a time that I otherwise would not have been lugging around a camera. For example, some of the images from the Grand Canyon you see were made in a pinch on my way to a Christmas dinner with my family. I didn’t have the larger camera with me and I just had a minute to make the image. Truth be told, these images could have been made with my cell phone, but that I could wring such great image quality out of something not much larger than my cell phone is just gravy. Be it jacket pocket, small bag, bike bag, saddle bag, even fannie pack—you have space for this camera anywhere you go.
Earlier I alluded to the obtrusiveness of a large camera. If you want to travel lightly and make photographs without announcing your presence, it’s easier to use a smaller camera. Here the RX1 excels. Moreover, the camera’s leaf shutter is virtually silent, so you can snap away without announcing your intention. In every sense, this camera is meant to work within physical constraints.
I cut my photographic teeth on film and I will always have an affection for it. There is a sense that one is playing within the rules when he uses film. That same feeling is here in the RX1. I never thought I’d say this about a camera, but I often like the JPEG images this thing produces more than I like what I can push with a RAW. Don’t get me wrong, for a landscape or a cityscape, the RAW processed carefully is FAR, FAR better than a JPEG.
But when I am taking snapshots or photos of friends and family, I find the JPEGs the camera produces (I’m shooting in RAW + JPEG) so beautiful. The camera’s computer corrects for the lens distortion and provides the perfect balance of contrast and saturation. The JPEG engine can be further tweaked to increase the amount of contrast, saturation or dynamic range optimization (shadow boost) used in writing those files. Add in the ability to rapidly compensate exposure or activate various creative modes and you’ve got this feeling you’re shooting film again. Instant, ultra-sensitive and customizable film.
Pro Tip: Focusing
Almost all cameras come shipped with what I consider to be the worst of the worst focus configurations. Even the Nikon D800 came to my hands set to focus when the shutter button was halfway depressed. This mode will ruin almost any photograph. Why? Because it requires you to perform legerdemain to place the autofocus point, depress the shutter halfway, recompose and press the shutter fully. In addition to the chance of accidentally refocusing after composing or missing the shot—this method absolutely ensures that one must focus before every single photograph. Absolutely impossible for action or portraiture.
Sensibly, most professional or prosumer cameras come with an AF-ON button near where the shooter’s right thumb rests. This separates the task of focusing and exposing, allowing the photographer to quickly focus and to capture the image even if focus is slightly off at the focus point. For portraits, kids, action, etc the camera has to have a hair-trigger. It has to be responsive. Manufacturer’s: stop shipping your cameras with this ham-fisted autofocus arrangement.
Now, the RX1 does not have an AF-ON button, but it does have an AEL button whose function can be changed to “MF/AF Control Hold” in the menu. Further, other buttons on the rear of the camera can also be programmed to toggle between AF and MF modes. What this all means is that you can work around the RX1’s buttons to make it’s focus work like a DSLR’s. (For those of you who are RX1 shooters, set the front switch to MF, the right control wheel button to MF/AF Toggle and the AEL button to MF/AF Control Hold and voila!) The end result is that, when powered on the camera is in manual focus mode, but the autofocus can be activated by pressing AEL, no matter what, however, the shutter is tripped by the shutter release. Want to switch to AF mode? Just push a button and you’re back to the standard modality.
Carrying.
I keep mine in a small, neoprene pouch with a semi-hard LCD cover and a circular polarizing filter on the front—perfect for buttoning up and throwing into a bag on my way out of the house. I have a soft release screwed into the threaded shutter release and a custom, red twill strap to replace the horrible plastic strap Sony provided. I plan to gaffer tape the top and the orange ring around the lens. Who knows, I may find an old Voigtlander optical viewfinder in future as well.
Image by wakingphotolife:
I was supposed to have a phone interview this morning, so I woke up early to feel "fully awake". The interview was at nine, but I woke up at around seven. I was planning to eat some breakfast, read the newspaper, have a cup of coffee. My growing-up idea of the working man's morning. But I checked my email and they told me that the interview would be rescheduled.
So I dragged my blanket off my bed and down the stairs with me. I threw everything on sofa and turned the blinds so some of the morning light could come in. It was raining outside. I laid down and turned on the TV and watched some morning cartoons.
When I was twelve, I woke up at six every morning on Saturdays. I would slide on my thin mattress - I didn't have a bed back then - down the stairs with my blankets and pillows. I'd set everything on the floor in front of the TV and watch dubbed anime movies, like Akira and Vampire Hunter D, on the Sci-Fi channel.
I was trying to feel like how I felt when I was twelve. I even laid down in the same way I use to lay down, on my side with both of hands underneath the pillow. I waited for a bit but nothing came, so I turned off the TV and looked at the blank screen, looked around the living room and at the rain outside. I closed my eyes and listened for something, anything. Then I dragged my pillow and blanket back upstairs went back to sleep.
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